Boundaries…

These past few days have been amazing, filled with lots of good surprises. I’ve taken on a new role, which is completely different from what I expected, but I’m grateful and excited to prosper in it, even though it’s temporary. You might be wondering what this has to do with boundaries, but stay with me—I like how boundaries weave into everything.

As I’ve mentioned before, I do a lot of self-introspection. However, I’ve learned that this doesn’t necessarily make my life easier. In fact, sometimes I wonder if it really works for me. I’ve always known that I struggle with setting boundaries for myself and for the people around me, both old and new. I think I’m afraid to set them, especially with new people, because I don’t want to push them away. But at what cost ntombi, I ask myself?

In the past, I’ve stepped over my own boundaries, allowing people to push me to change or adjust my limits to suit their needs. This has led me to do things I regret and to disrespect my own soul—something I’m still trying to mend today. Recently, I caught myself wanting to do the same thing again, but something inside me told me to take a step back, put myself first, and respect the rules I set. If someone doesn’t want to respect them, they can take a hike.

This journey of setting and respecting my own boundaries is not easy. I’m so used to letting things slide and regretting it later—I think it’s called people-pleasing. Setting rules for people, both in your life and those to come, feels wrong. Stating how you’d like to be treated feels wrong and scary, like you’re pushing people away. But it has to be done.

The hardest part is feeling like you might be making people uncomfortable or pushing them away. However, I now believe that those who genuinely love and respect me (and you) will honor your boundaries. Those who feel you’re too much may leave, making space for people who truly want to be there. If you’re like me and have a hard time setting boundaries, take comfort in knowing you’re not alone. It’s just a minor pothole—nothing that can’t be overcome.